Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

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I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

In the TV show Supernatural, why is God portrayed as cruel?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have complete contempt for fakery

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I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Can someone fall in love with a person they have never met in person, but only through thoughts and imagination?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t buy bullshit

What was your worst experience while living with roommates?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know who the president of Turkey really is

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I see through liars

Have you ever heard of the god Priapus being the same as the god Phosphorus?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for traitorism

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

How do you get a girl to like you?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have a reading level above third grade

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I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

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I don’t watch or listen to advertising

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What are some common examples of condescending behavior?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand how hurricane paths work

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I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Whenever I write a novel, I struggle with the end, should I make it open? Should the good win or the bad win? Sometime I don't even have an ending, what should I do?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

How do you feel cockroach?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I’m 17 and looking for a girl. What do I do?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I can read

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I can count

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I actually pay taxes